Note to new readers: This post is part of my 30 Days of Writing Practice. I am allowing blocks of 10, 20 or 30 minutes of my day solely to putting my swirling thoughts on paper. No going back to edit which will only serve to stop the stream of consciousness. My writing buddy Kat and I, we call it writing from the heart. Please read my introduction for the full story.
Important Housekeeping Note: In this 30 Day Writing Marathon, I will inadvertently write about you, my friends. I will hide you under a different name of course. But you will know it is you. Oh yes you will know. I will always be writing with my truth. It will come from my heart. Trust me. I will not have time to give you preview of what I have written. If you are unhappy about it, let me know quickly, and I will shoot down this page straight away.
It’s Mundane Monday again folks. Today however I’ll call it Mention Monday. Here goes my special friend mentions…
A friend I hold very dear passed away recently. Read and find out what a special person Leah was by reading my ode to her. Go on click here and come back when you finish reading. I’ll wait for you. Here.
Towards the end of the post, did you notice my elation in having told my friend out of the blue that I loved her? And my happiness to have been able to tell her that before she died? I resolved to tell my favourite people how much they meant to me. I was not going to wait for birthdays nor Christmas to utter these words. Just make a connection and blurt out my I love you’s. That’s what Cha does for fun and whimsy.
First up was Khaleesi who lives up over. She’s totally a queen this one. Savagely beautiful. I often tell Khaleesi I loved her from time to time in our Whatsapp messages, just casually, you know. I’m not embarrassed to tell her. Because we are intimate like that. Ah, to be so intimate with someone with my naked heart is such a gift. You must find a friend like that apart from your life partner. I asked Khaleesi, “When was the last time I said I loved you? Maybe now is a good time? I love you, Khaleesi with all my heart”. She knew about my friend Leah passing away. She picked up my grief and without skipping a beat wrote “I love you too my dearest” straight back.
Later at work, Wonder Woman and I were in a town hall presentation by the big bosses. I call this friend Wonder Woman because she is simply fantastic. According to Wiki, Wonder Woman (the super shero) is gifted with a wide range of superhuman powers and superior combat and battle skills. Ha! This is so true with this Wonder Woman friend of mine. So true that I simply emulate what she does in life. I Whatsapped her (she was sitting right beside me), “I love you”. She Whatsapped back “love you too”. So that’s Girlfriend number two, Check.
Later again, I emailed a mum friend whom I’m going to call Bionic Woman. You will love my Bionic Woman. She has the most admirable thought process of all my friends. She simplifies complicated issues. Her inquiring mind “sees” solutions immediately rather than stressing on the problem. I wrote that I loved her. She emailed back “love you too”. That’s three girlfriends, Check.
Then I Whatsapped a fourth friend who lives in the Philippines. Let’s call her Luka. Because she is luka-luka (insert canned laughter). This Luka friend of mine, she’s the one I would call first if I had to move a body. No explanations required. She’s my “say anything, let your guard down” kind of friend. So I told Luka “I love you”. She says “love you” back.
A few days later I sent an FB message to a favourite SN mum friend in the Philippines. Let’s call her Super Mom. I made up a shero, because my Super Mom is unique in all the world. I wrote to Super Mom “I love you”. You know what she wrote back? In Caps lock… I LOVE YOU. Happy heart me, for sure.
I noticed then that 3 out of 5 friends dropped the “I” in the I love you. Why is that, I asked myself. Without the “I”, the phrase is meaningless. I am a word pedantic. I want to use words that convey my exact meaning. A bit silly really, how I think about these petty things. But that’s me. Words are alive and breathing. My conclusion is this. Women as a norm find it uncomfortable to say the three words to other women. Unless of course we were in high school, the time when we girls were most irreverent. There is a belief that the three words are for exclusive use with life partners. I do realise that we (including me) don’t give this much thought and the word omission is not intentional and does not mean we don’t love each other unconditionally. But see here, the omission is subliminal. We are wired, built, brainwashed to love with restraint. Not to be showy. Not be demonstrative. Stuff that. I will write my I LOVE YOU’s in bold and capital letters. Because life is much too short for restraint.
So my dear friendships. I will give you my complete sentence, I hope you don’t give me a fragment.
And with that, I’ll see you good folks again tomorrow.
Always from my heart,
ChaR-g
PS: Cha is of course in “brain fart” mode today. So excuse the inanity of this post!
Let’s listen to Luka.
Norberto says
is there connection with the title of your blog on mothers day? kasi when I read the title that song rang in 🙂
myglorybox.com says
Hey Nono. I did tell you I loved you too, didn’t I? I didn’t stop with the 5 girlfriends, and some were boys too. I figured that I LOVED people’s energies and spirits. I love my like-minded friendships!
Mother’s Day post was Day 12.