Note to new readers: This post is part of my 30 Days of Writing Practice. I am allowing blocks of 10, 20 or 30 minutes of my day solely to putting my swirling thoughts on paper. No going back to edit which will only serve to stop the stream of consciousness. My writing buddy and I, we call it writing from the heart. Please read my introduction for the full story.
IMPORTANT NOTE: The characters/names below are purely fictional. They’re the combined experiences of a few people I’ve met rolled into 3 characters. And in case you do not know it yet, I have two boys. Migo is 14 years old and has autism. Gabo is 13 years old and is a mainstream kid.
When I look at Migo and imagine him 20, 30 years from now, I invariably panic. Who will look after my son? When Ariel and I are gone? (Choking sounds in throat.)
You must have heard about other mums who kill their disabled child first before committing suicide. It is horrible. Horrifying. It is beyond belief. Yet a small part of me, nay I lie, a part of me fully, completely understand why these things happen. A mum always thinks that no one else will care and love her child as well and as much as she will. Having said that, I want to build a stable and secure future for my autistic child. I want to leave this world secure in the knowledge that even if my husband and I pass away, Migo will be safe and happy. This wish is every mum’s wish. But for a mum with a special needs child, it is more than a wish, it is a mission! (If you notice, I have so many missions in life.) You might say that Migo does have a brother in Gabo. Alas, I do not expect Gab to care for his brother. Not at all! I’ve told Gab that many times over. He will have a life of his own. Regular visits to Migo (when Migo goes to a serviced/shared home for example) to ensure his brother is in a happy place is all I really expect Gabo to do. [Read more…]